J.R. Kerr, preaching pastor at Park Community Church in Chicago, recently published an article in Leadership Journal entitled, “Pastoral Narcissism.” I think the article is applicable to every Christian, not just pastors. Kerr is very open and honest about exposing some of his struggles, but also shares some important strategies for fighting the ever-persistent problem of pride. The article is well-worth reading in its entirety.
“It was a silly thing to do, but I couldn’t stop myself. During a “get to know you” conversation with a few acquaintances and a man from the church I serve, we were talking about interests, passions, and areas of ministry. I tried to keep the focus on others at the table. But then it happened.
The man from my church made a statement that I interpreted as making light of me. The fuse was lit, and within a few moments I managed to work into the conversation the areas where I was leading and the wide impact of those projects. I subtly reminded everyone what our church had accomplished in the city. I even managed to throw in some attendance figures for good measure. I pushed everyone else out of the conversation’s spotlight.
When it was over, I felt like I had binged on junk food. Self-loathing set in: I hate when I do this, and I hate it even more when I do it as a servant of Christ. Why do I keep falling into this temptation?
I’ve been through this cycle enough to know that when I feel my capacity or identity as a leader isn’t sufficiently honored (and when, really, does anyone ever feel that?), I slip into the sin of self-promotion. But how do I stop?”
Later in the article, Kerr hits the nail right on the head:
“Having great ambitions is a good and necessary thing. The problem was how I defined greatness. I was measuring significance as the world does, rather than by the standards of God’s kingdom. When Jesus heard his disciples arguing about greatness, he reminded them of the counter-intuitive nature of his kingdom. “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and a servant of all” (Mark 9:35).
Jesus does not say to stop pursuing greatness. Instead he redefines it: The last will be first. The humble exalted. The small will be big. Those who lose their life for the sake of the gospel will gain it.”